KenshoHeart

Coverage for a heart.
Not an apple.

No deductible. No expiry. Nothing to break.
See what's covered ›Get it free ›
The premise

An apple bruises.
A heart doesn't.

AppleCare protects an apple. Apples bruise. They crack. They need a plan, a deductible, a service fee, and an appointment.

We didn't make an apple. We made a heart — heart rate, HRV, the Heart-Sky Sync. A heart doesn't break. So the math doesn't work: you can't put a deductible on a heart. It returns NaN.

It's free. It's unbreakable. That's a heart, not an apple.
Compare plans

Two kinds of care.

AppleCare+KenshoHeart
Monthly price$9.99 and up$0.00
Deductible per incident$29 – $299None. You can't deductible a heart.
What it protectsan apple that bruisesa heart that doesn't break
Accidental damageup to 2 incidents / yearn/a — it doesn't break
Battery serviceincluded*no battery — combusts by Aqua & Aries
Coverage term2 years, then renewforever
What you actually receivea refurbished replacementthe original, on the house
Cancellation feeyesthere's nothing to cancel
One plan insures a thing that breaks. The other is just a heart, handed over. Free.
The fine print isn't fine, it's free

KenshoHeart isn't a plan.

It's just kensho.cc.
Free, floating, unbreakable. No deductible, because there's nothing to deduct. Bring your heart.
Visit kensho.cc ›Back to the keynote ›

* Battery service unavailable, because there is no battery. See "combusts by Aqua & Aries."

1 A heart is not a covered device under any other plan. That's rather the point.

2 Applying a deductible to a heart returns NaN. We checked. The math simply refuses.

3 "Free, forever" means free, forever. Still not a typo. Still confusing to some.

◈ KenshoHeart · A KenshoTek Field Dispatch · rteks.net/dispatch Opinion & satire · Parody · No trademarks endorsed or affiliated
Designed by KenshoTek in the East Bay · Alcatraz in view · 925 That's a heart, not an apple.