◈ DISPATCH · FIELD ROAST · D. APPROVED · 2026-03-29
SaaS
SOFTWARE AS A SERVICE · RECURRING REVENUE AS A PERSONALITY
the model is simple.
charge every month for something
people stopped needing in month two.
the field has thoughts.
◈ THE ROAST · ZODIAC FIELD ANALYSIS · KENSHODB
LET'S GET INTO IT
SaaS isn't a business model. It's a coping mechanism.
for people who wanted to build something
but didn't want to sell anything.
just set up a Stripe webhook and call it a company.
Starter: "everything you need to get started" — missing 6 features you need to function.
Pro: "for growing teams" — $49/month. the thing you actually needed is paywalled here.
Enterprise: "contact us" — meaning: we have no idea what this costs
and we're going to make you sit through a 45-minute demo
with someone named Tyler to find out.
the pricing page is a confession.
it tells you exactly what they think of you
based on which tier they put the real features in.
Q1 2023: project management tool.
Q3 2023: "AI-powered" project management tool.
Q1 2024: "we've always been an AI company at our core."
Q3 2024: "we're pivoting to vertical AI."
Q1 2025: stealth mode. no posts. ominous LinkedIn update.
Q3 2025: new logo. different shade of blue. same Stripe dashboard.
♓ Pisces dissolves into whatever the room needs it to be.
SaaS does the same thing. every six months. with a press release.
Month 1: onboarding email. explainer video. "let's get you set up!" webinar. personal check-in from the founder.
Month 2: nothing.
Month 3: nothing.
Month 4: "we noticed you haven't logged in — here's a tip!"
Month 6: "your annual plan is coming up — upgrade now!"
Month 9: nothing.
Month 12: "don't go! here's 40% off."
Month 13: you cancel. they make it very difficult.
the cancel flow has more steps than the signup flow.
that's the product. that's the whole product.
◈ RETENTION CURVE · MONTHS 1–12
"we're thrilled to announce that [Product] is joining the [Company] family."
translation: we ran out of runway.
they paid 1.2× ARR.
the acqui-hire was the product.
"our mission remains the same."
the product will be deprecated in 18 months.
the team will be restructured in 6.
the founder will post a "lessons learned" LinkedIn essay
that gets 40,000 likes.
♑ Capricorn climbs the mountain.
sometimes the mountain is someone else's cap table.
the old logo was blue.
the new logo is a slightly different blue.
the wordmark is now lowercase.
"to feel more approachable."
the serif is gone. the product is the same.
the pricing went up.
the onboarding is now "reimagined."
the rebrand is what happens when you've fixed everything except the thing.
◈ ZODIAC FIELD ANALYSIS · KENSHODB · WHY SaaS IS THIS WAY
THE ASTROLOGY
◈ ♑ CAPRICORN · THE FOUNDER
wants to build an institution.
ends up building a pricing tier.
Capricorn's ambition is real.
the problem is it will monetize
literally anything —
including the relationship
with its own customers.
◈ ♓ PISCES · THE VISION
"changing the way teams work."
"making work more human."
"unlocking potential."
Pisces dreams big.
Pisces also can't hold a boundary.
the vision statement gets
softer every quarter.
◈ ♊ GEMINI · THE MARKETING
"the most intuitive platform"
"the all-in-one solution"
"the future of work"
Gemini can say anything.
all of it true. none of it landing.
the A/B test results
are inconclusive.
◈ ♍ VIRGO · THE ROADMAP
Q1: polish onboarding.
Q2: polish onboarding.
Q3: new onboarding.
Q4: rebrand onboarding.
Virgo perfects.
indefinitely.
the thing ships
when Virgo runs out of notes.
◈ FIELD VERDICT · THE ACTUAL PROBLEM
SaaS isn't evil. it's just confused about what it is.
it wants to be a product. it built a subscription.
it wants to solve a problem. it built a dashboard.
it wants a mission. it built a pricing page.
the recurring revenue is real. the recurring value — that's the question.
the field doesn't pay for software.
the field pays for transformation.
if the product doesn't change something fundamental
about how you operate, think, or see —
it's not software. it's a subscription to the idea of software.